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A PIANO-PLAYING pig, a monkey puppet miming to Michael Jackson and a knife-wielding Scot dressed as a Native American - Welcome to the UK's barmiest reality TV show, Britains Got Talent. The first stop is Cardiff and the opening act is a man who plays the ashtray with a key. David Williams, 66, has been doing it for 25 years and the judges hit thier buzzers withing the first 30 seconds.

But there are soon smiles on thier faces at the first hit of the series, Damon Scott, 27, from Wiltshire, and his monkey puppet which mimes Michael Jackson's Earth Song. After a stansing ovation from the 2000-strong live audience and rave reviews from the judges Damon really is on the road to realising his dreams of performing in front of the Queen, But Simon does joke that "It says a lot about the world today that I'm enjoying a monkey puppet more than Michael Jackson!"


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